Note: This is adapted from my book, An Ounce of Meditation. These instructions offer a first step into a meditation practice.

1. Why meditation can be difficult
2. Try to empty your mind
3. This will work better: Give your brain a stick to hold
4. A couple more tips

Why meditation can be difficult

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe. It does this by problem-solving in big and small ways. It does this by worrying. It does this by organizing to-do lists. It does this by bringing information in from the world around you tirelessly. The mind is very, very busy. That is its job.

The mind can be like

It works all the time. And that is a good thing. Did you know your brain uses 20% of all your calories? That is a lot for such a little lump of flesh!

The mind is never bad or wrong for working so hard. In fact, we should thank it for keeping us safe!

But sometimes the mind gets too active. And when that happens, your heart can race, your breath can become rapid and shallow, and you can feel miserable. You can feel like you are out of control.

By practicing meditation, you learn how to settle the mind, give it a time out, and gently restart its engine, your engine.

Try to empty your mind

Many people try to begin practicing meditation by ‘controlling’ the mind or telling it to stop working. Let’s try that.

Find a comfortable sitting position. Take a couple settling breaths. Ask your mind to settle. Give it three minutes.

Watch the activity of your brain. Notice, if you can, what comes up for you, how long thoughts stay, how many there are and how well you can rest your brain.

How did that work for you? Did you feel like your mind rested?

Most meditators believe that this approach to quieting the mind is either impossible or only for the most advanced meditators. The mind’s job is to work. All the time. So telling it to stop is pretty impossible. Your mind simply does not understand ‘Stop.’

This will work better: Give your brain a stick to hold

There is a famous account of elephants being marched through markets in India. They caused chaos by sampling every piece of food they could lay their trunks on. But their handlers learned that if they gave the elephant a stick to hold with their trunk, the elephant would focus on the work of holding the stick and lose interest in other things. They could then walk calmly through the marketplace.

We are going to give your brain a stick to hold. Focus your attention on one of these things (each will act as your brain’s stick to hold):

• Your breath going in and out (breathe through your nose)
• A candle flame (in your mind or a real flame)
• Imagine waves coming and going on the shore

Watch the breath or the flame or the waves as long as you can.

You will likely find that your mind wants to go back to working. That is ok. After all, that is its job. Just bring your mind back to your breath or the candle or the waves. Be patient, be kind. You are teaching a sweet, little, energetic, confused three-year-old to sit still. He does not understand why you are doing this. He does not know it is good for him.

A couple more tips

Here are a couple more helpful tips to keep your mind focused:

Thich Nhat Hahn, a Buddhist monk who wrote and taught a lot about meditation, suggested saying this to yourself –

I am breathing in. The breath goes in.

I am breathing out. The breath goes out.

Repeat this as you meditate. And when you stop saying it because your mind wanders, come back to saying it again.

Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun who also has written and taught a lot about meditation, suggests another technique. She suggests identifying thoughts as what they are (that is, your mind being active) and then letting them go. When a new thought comes into your mind, say, ‘Thinking!’ and let the thought go. Return to your breath or the candle or the waves.

It is important to not get aggravated at how active your mind is. Be kind. Be thankful. It is just doing its job. But also be persistent. Three-year-olds need to learn to sit still, at least a little.