I often end up feeling that books about aging focus on denying aging or fighting the reality that time passes. The recommendations often leave the reader blaming themselves for not ‘fighting’ hard enough or for having made a thousand poor decisions decades ago.

My tiny life experience, though, tells me that the older person’s body is simply different than it was in the middle years. An infant’s body is different than an adult’s body (any pediatrician would explain in great detail). Why would this not also be true as we enter our later years? When my dad was 80, he developed anemia over an incredibly short two-week period. His energy fell through the floor. The amount of iron he was prescribed was ten times the amount I was prescribed when I was pregnant, and I was perennially anemic at that stage in my life. And then, in about a week, my dad simply bounced back. It was shocking to me how different our bodies were and how fragile his had become, even though he was still quite active and completely on top of things.

The book Honest Aging: An insider’s guide to the second half of life, takes a very wide lens in explaining the practical realities of aging, in a gentle and positive way. It is written by a geriatrician who practices at Mount Sinai in New York, Rosanne M. Leipzig, MD, and it focuses on the questions Dr. Leipzig most often gets in her practice. These questions focus around the worry ‘Is this normal aging?’ Who hasn’t wondered that?

Each question gets a short chapter. First, the question is set out in some detail, then the author explains how the relevant body function works, and finally she explores how aging affects the ‘normal’ functioning of the body. She answers each question in a research-informed and matter-of-fact way, while avoiding deeply technical talk. You are left with an understanding of the logic of what your body may be going through, and so can make better choices.

I have found the advice in the book to be very instructive as I wander about in these years with my own questions. For example, the chapter on sleep explained a lot more to me about what normal sleep may feel like for me than my sleep specialist did. Her explanation of the very common concern around decreased energy led my husband and I to make significant changes in our diet. And we feel the difference.

This book won’t answer every up and down of the aging process, but it is a solid foundation. I put it in the category of the What to Expect When Your Expecting books — it is a great guide when you wake up one morning and say, as you may have if you experienced pregnancy, ‘Everything is just so different. I don’t understand a bit.’ Yes, a lot changes. And maybe it is time to reacquaint yourself with your muscles and bones.